Sometimes God allows or even arranges for us to go through difficulties in this life because it's during those times that we grow in our faith and develop more of the character of Christ.
Still, it is not all peaches and cream.
Real life is hard and many things try to knock us down.
I want nothing more than to be real here. I am not a 'down' sort of person and most of my posts reflect that; however, as we all know, there are sad times and down times in life.
Sharing those sad or down times, I believe, is just as important as sharing the positive moments!
I want to share with you, briefly, how my children leaving my home came to be. It isn't an easy story to write and I don't imagine it will be an easy story to read.
I do however, feel convicted to write it .
I believe God lets us go through things. Think of Job, he went through some things. (Boy was THAT an understatement!)
God lets things happen so we grow! I'm convinced we go through things so later, down the road, we might share it with someone and in some way, ways we may not understand, allow God to work through us to help them.
Sharing what we have been through is often just what God needs us to do. (Philippians 1:29)
Six years ago their dad and his new wife took custody. I wasn't a bad mom. I didn't neglect my children, I wasn't abusive, I have never done drugs (some folks are thinking Never? Yeah right!) seriously though, the hardest drug I have ever done...cigarettes and I gave those up four months ago! GO ME!!
I digress. Eh, it happens frequently! Anyway...
Before I go any farther, let me just say, for the record, I am not simply trying to play the blame game here. The plot is too twisted for it to be one thing or persons fault. I am simply sharing what I believe to be; knowing there are always three sides to every story.
There are people in this world who do and see things through the eyes of the green monster....money! My ex husband's new wife was one of them. I believe her desire was for child support to paid to my ex-husband (which would help fill her pockets,), not to lovingly raise my children. I feel that is what led to the horrific custody case, which resulted in a poor relationship between my children's father and me and ultimately my children leaving my home.
I may never know the entire truth, but I sincerely feel she was a huge catalyst for the custody change (although she certainly wasn't the only thing; the boys' dad didn't have to go along, but he did).
Prior to her entering our lives, the boys' dad and me were still very much a parenting team with little to no disputes about anything.
During their marriage...a living hell would be the best way to describe our relationship!
After their demise, back to being a parenting team! We talk like we are old friends! Co-parenting for the best of and for our children! Isn't that how it should be?
In the end, the biggest co contributor was the Judicial system. That is what failed me and my boys.
Again, I'm not looking for blame, just simply sharing what I believe to be true. I took my appeals as far as I could, the State Supreme Court system. I fought the system and my ex for almost 3 years! I knew the desk clerk by name and she by mine!
It really was the system. The magistrate, who ruled on my case, has since been removed from ALL custody hearings. No concrete proof here, but I think she may have been doing something wrong if she is not allowed to hear custody hearings anymore!
Beyond 'dirty' magistrates, the flaw in our Judicial System, in my opinion, is once a mistake has been created, there is not a method in place to correct it. For in my state, reversal is impossible because there are no unfavorable conditions my children are experiencing living with their dad. In other words, they are not in any harm (that's true, their dad loves them very much and he is a good dad).
The anger I felt during the times I was fighting for my children's return, was not only directed at my ex and his new wife, but at GOD!
I was angry that He would allow this to happen. Didn't He remember how long it took us to even have children? Didn't he remember the six long agonizing years for my first son. or the six years between my first and second son? How could He allow my my babies to be taken from me?
They are my whole life!
...and therein was the entire lesson in my opinion! They were my life.
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have. (Philippians 1:29-30, emphasis mine)