The hardest part of seasons in marriage is wondering what to do.
When in a season of new life (spring) it might be wondering how to keep the feelings and relationship moving in the new direction. Drifting or floating (fall) we can wonder why we or our spouse are drifting or if we are just floating along without much purpose or intent. Lazy contentment (summer) could leave us wondering if we are taking each other for granted. Of course the cold harsh season of conflict (winter) can leave us wondering how we'll ever get through it and still be intact.
Marriage is work! Every day brings new challenges, new experiences, new information, new ideas, new, new, new. While we may feel as if we are doing the same things over and over again, living the mundane life, our marital relationship is ebbing and flowing in a thousand different directions and seasons are changing right before our eyes.
There is good news about all of this seasonal stuff! While we may not have all the answers, there is someone who does and thankfully, He gave us an entire book to help us along.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us, The whole Bible was given to us by inspiration from God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right. It is God’s way of making us well prepared at every point, fully equipped to do good to everyone. (Living Bible (TLB)
That means we don't have to figure any of this marital stuff out on our own. God knows exactly what, when, where, how and often who we need to do whatever needs to be done.
Through God's teachings, word, and time in prayer, we can get the answers we need. The word helps us in so many ways. Spending time in His word, individually and together can make a world of difference regardless of what season our marriage is in. Praying together can bring us closer to one another. God can prepare us for any season.
For my Mr. Right and I the word, praying together, and people God placed in our paths, helped us see we needed help.
We were not living our lives as God would have us do. Our struggles were not something we were having any success in solving and so we didn't wait to reach out for help when things got off balance.
It didn't matter that we had only been married a year, our winter hit and hit hard. Some things are not able to be resolved on our own. There is no shame in asking for help whether you have been married a week, a month, a year, or fifty years. God's word tell us,
If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. (James 1:5-8 (MSG).
God loves to help! Let me repeat that, God Loves to Help!
It took us quite some time to figure that out. Regardless of what season we may be in, God has it all figured it out we just have to do our part.
What is our part? I believe our part is to S.P.A.R. (don't think boxing...LOL). Yes! We need to fight with our spouses, not against each other but fight along side each other, to find the answers we need for each season of marriage.
*Seek- seek God's wisdom, seek God's answers, seek God's will for your marriage, seek god's will for you, seek God's will for you spouse, just seek God!
*Pray- pray for each other, pray for yourself, pray for your marriage, pray for guidance, just pray!
*Ask- ask God what should be done, ask God to place people in your lives who can help, ask God to show you were you need to grow, ask God to forgive you, just ask God!
*Read- read the Bible together, read the Bible individually, read the Bible by topic, just read the Bible!
We were not promised life would be easy and marriage is no different. Marriage can be hard and changes come. So often we give up before answers come.
1 Timothy 6:12 talks about fighting the good fight of the faith and taking hold of the life we were called to in the presence of witnesses. While I know Paul was talking about eternal life, this scripture is so relevant to marriage.
Keep the faith, grab hold of the life the two of you promised to each other in front of your friends and families. Fight the good fight. Fight with (along side) your spouse, together with God, to save your marriage and to get through any season! Lean on the one who has the answers and who can provide exactly what your marriage needs!
Learning to walk by Faith,